Count On This

Well the counting is over and it's time to assess the damage. On the plus side Fianna Fool has suffered a severe humbling. Their worst performance in an election EVER. This is their reward for years of selfish, corrupt and inept leadership. Let's see how Brian Clown and his circus of a front bench get out of this fine mess!

Unfortunately the electorate turned to Funny Gael and the Lie-bore party. Seeing the likes of George IToldYouSo Lee being elected wasn't surprising. That didn't stop me feeling truly sickened though. Obviously 53% of Dublin South voters couldn't have been bothered educating themselves about IToldYouSo's ill conceived "policies". They believed his mantra of "a straight talker with credibility". Straight talker my arse. The runtish little hobbit has spent the last 10 years engineering a situation that would ensure his election would be a fait accompli. Well lets see how IToldYouSo holds up when he has to deliver the goods. It is already obvious that he doesn't like his saintly wisdom to be questioned. And some of the bullshit he has come out with during his cannonisation as a TD (like RTE is a well run organisation) has been truly funny. I firmly believe that time will prove IToldYouSo to be nothing but an opportunist money-grabbing charlatan.

The rise of the Lie-bore party is another joke. These muppets now have themselves down as contenders to be the biggest party after the next general election. Ha ha ha ha ha - dream on you commie fools. It is fairly obvious that much of the Fianna Fool vote has been temporarily parked with the communists. Their success in this poll says more about Fianna Fool's lack of appeal than any of Lie-bore's dodgy leftie policies.

Speaking of communists, I was delighted to see Joe Higgins taking Eoin Ryan's seat. It must have been a right kick in the arse for Fianna Fool after they put so much effort into saving him. Higgins may have some questionable policies but at least we can be sure that he will stick it to the political establishment. The fact that this will annoy Fianna Fool, Lie-bore and Funny Gael makes his election a victory for everyone who is sick of the elitist corruption that has become synonymous with Irish politics.

The strong showing of independent candidates all over the country further emphasises our frustrations with party politics. It was especially pleasing to see Maureen O'Sullivan win so convincingly in Dublin Central. It was equally pleasing to see Fianna Fool paying the price for selecting the bumbling Maurice Ahern ahead of the infinitely superior Mary Fitzpatrick. This decision pretty much sums up all that is wrong with a Fianna Fool party where nepotism, greed and incompetence is preferred to ability, intellect and endeavour.

What cheered DarkPassenger most about these elections was the annihilation of the Green Sleveen Party. The inept, tree hugging megalomaniacs have been rewarded for their complete lack of ability with a whooping from the Irish electorate. We'll see how Yesman Ryan, Trevbore Sargent and Johan von Gormless react now that their Dáil seats are in complete jeopardy. They better make damn sure they can ride out the full 5 year term of this government so that they can secure the highest pension and compensation payment possible after they are handed their P45s in 2012.

And what will our scumbag millionaire politicians do now that the elections are over? They'll do what they do best - paying themselves disgraceful amounts of money for continuously failing the people of Ireland. That is something you can always count on!

Snot Green

Let us cast a cold eye on one of the most dangerous diseases afflicting the Irish political system. Similar to many of the most infectious plagues, this group of sleeveens manage to stay undetected until it is too late. They pretend that they speak on behalf of the planet, the environment and even the whales. Like most war criminals they claim they are simply following the orders of their senior partner as they participate in economic genocide against the Irish people. Yes, the Green Party are truly the most hypocritical shower of masquerading knight-errants that this country has ever seen.

So what do the Green Sleeveen Party stand for? They claim to symbolise a "New Deal" (another Enda de road Kenny style rip-off of an American presidential battlecry - Roosevelt must be spinning in his grave). DarkPassenger believes that, in time, the Irish people will learn that the Sleeveen Party stand for a New Lie rather than a deal of any sort.

The manner in which the little green men have managed to harness the worldwide obsession with environmental issues and used it as a means of disguising their complete lack of any proper economic or social policy is remarkable. Their track record in government speaks for itself. They have done nothing more than secure lip service for their "green" policies from their Fianna Fool paymasters in return for supporting a series of social and economic attrocities against the nation.

If you fancy a laugh have a read of The Green New Deal document - eight pages of entertainment of which the most accomplished political satirist would be proud. They promise to establish action groups, publish plans, create authorities etc. etc. etc. In other words, they will give jobs to hacks and fellow travellers on various committees and think tanks. They'll waste our money and at the end of it all come up with a bunch of "policies" that the winds of social and economic change would necessitate anyway.

As far as achievements go, well the New Deal keeps on entertaining! The sleeveens list improving energy standards for new homes and reforming planning regulations as some of their successes. Funnily enough, the construcion boom had ended by the time they "achieved" all this greatness. As if Fianna Fool would have allowed them to impinge upon the behaviour of their allies in the Galway tents before they had built up most of the country! The New Deal on transport is another farce. Where are the buses? How are the poor fools who were duped into buying gaffs in Mullingar and Naas when they work in Dublin meant to get to work? We've all seen the 24 hour bus lanes which serve a 12 hour bus service. Meanwhile the sleeveens want to introduce all manner of punitive taxes for driving a car. Well it's hard getting from Mullingar to Dublin on a bike, not that the sleeveens care - they are here to persecute the common man rather than stand up for him.

And what have the sleeveen ministers achieved? Very little. Johann von Gormless has bent over at every hands turn and made humiliating u-turns on issues like the M3/Hill of Tara and the incinerator being built in his own constituency. Yesman Ryan appears to be too busy pinching himself at the unbelievable notion that he is now drawing a ministerial salary to be bothered actually doing anything. Broadband - expensive or non-existent, Electricity - most expensive in Europe, Natural Resources - sold to multinationals. Not much of a Minister for Communications, Energy and Natural Resources.

People of Ireland, please don't be fooled by the Green Party and their faux environmental credentials. These people are like all the others who infest our house of parliament. They are there to line their own pockets. To build a nice little pile of cash for themselves at the expense of the taxpayer. They needed an angle to differentiate themselves from the other established political militias and so the "New Green Deal" was concocted. Rest assured they are just the same as Fianna Fool, Funny Gael or the Lie-bore Party. The only difference is that they turn up at the Dáil to collect their cash on a bike rather than in a Mercedes!