The Silver Lining

Things have been quiet around here for the last couple of weeks. Devoted Dexter is sunning himself on his boat off the coast of Florida. And as for me, well let's just say there is lots to talk about but I've been so depressed by the state of things that blogging about them would send me over the edge. In fairness it's hard to stay upbeat these days. Everywhere you look it's recession, cuts, taxes, misery and, of course, the usual helping of sickening hypocrisy from our beloved public representatives. So in this post, instead of my usual dose of bile and vitriol, I will try and concentrate on the upside of "de recession". I'm putting my faith in the old chestnut of every cloud having a silver lining - it's just a matter of looking for it hard enough! So what are the upsides of the economic H-bomb that has detonated over our poor island in recent months?

• The price of stuff is going down: we still have a way to go but the profiteering retailers know that the days of people paying ridiculous prices (with borrowed money) are over.


• We appreciate our money more: there can be no doubt that the spending patterns of Celtic Tiger Ireland were crazy. People squandered cash on all manner of needless crap. We became a nation of label lovers with our Orla Kiely handbags, D&G sunglasses, Jimmy Choo shoes, Tag watches etc. etc. etc. Of course there's nothing wrong with liking your labels but let's face it there are more important things in life than buying fancy stuff every week. Maybe we will now appreciate it when we treat ourselves to the odd luxury. What's seldom is wonderful after all!


• Ireland might qualify for the World Cup: Surely it is more than a coincidence that our football team enjoyed its most successful period in the days before our economy went into overdrive. I firmly believe that there is some undiscovered scientific rule that links our economic strength inversely to our football team's success. Let's hope that this theory holds firm and we'll be cheering on the boys in green in South Africa next year.


• Less SUVs on the road: One of my many pet hates is the SUV. This hideous fuel guzzling behemoth undoubtedly symbolised the Celtic Tiger preoccupation with overindulgence and waste. A friggin' monster truck with one kid in the back seat driven by a soccer mom never made sense. Hopefully people will now go back to driving proper cars and leave the jeeps to be driven by the few builders and tradesmen who can still find work.


• Haggling is back: During the boom years you were made to feel like a pariah for having the temerity to haggle with a sales person. Well, well, well, how the worm has turned! The shops are begging you to haggle now. That annoying Australian tosser from Harvey Norman is always on the radio pleading with the poor pixie Irish to haggle with his staff. And a car salesman will happily brighten up his impoverished and lonely day by haggling with the rare customer who might consider buying a car. So get haggling people. We have years of profiteering to avenge!


• The curse of the property programme may be lifted: Hopefully we will now see the cancellation of the multitude of nauseating property programmes which have infested our telly boxes for years. We haven't got the money to even dream of moving gaffs so surely Duncan Stewart, Kirstie Allsopp et al. will be banished from our televisions forever!


• The recession might even be good for our society: People generally smoke less, drink less alcohol and exercise more during a recession. With people devoting fewer hours to work they are also more likely to get involved in their communities and spend more time with their families. In the last decade or so obesity levels have soared and a sense of community was becoming a rare characteristic in modern Ireland. If the recession facilitates the emergence of a healthier and more caring society that can only be a good thing.

So there's my attempt at presenting the bright side of our current woes. Let's hope that when the bust turns to boom again we can remember the lessons we have learnt during these troubled times.

The Lyin' King

No I haven't gone soft and taken to blogging about Disney cartoon characters! I'm referring to the biggest liar in the Dáil. The Kildare Street Country Club is full of hypocrites. All 166 of them have lied, misrepresented facts and generally betrayed their constituents and the people of Ireland. But who is the biggest hypocrite of them all? There are a number of contenders:

• The whole government front bench. They're so used to lies and deceit that it has become second nature to them. They preach about saving the economy they wrecked, they oversee the mockery of our democratic rights and generally behave in a fashion that would make Robert Mugabe blush. But they don't win the prize.


• Enda de road Kenny probably believes his own bullshit, but the grand aul gobshite of Irish politics is a mere thunderbird at the helm of a pit of vipers. The likes of the hated IToldYouSo Lee, Hangman Hayes, Count Leo von Varadkar and Lucinda the Teenage Witch Creighton specialise in a unique brand of spite-riddled blueshirt misinformation. Even this shower don't win the prize.


• The Green Sleeveen Party. I have already outlined the undoubted hypocrisy of these tree hugging halfwits. But not even a green sleeveen has the streak of pure evil necessary to be awarded the title of Lyin' King.

Enter Eamon Gilmore Girl. Ladies and gentlemen we have a winner!

Eamon Gilmore Girl is the winner of the coveted title of Lyin' King 2009. Deceit, lies, insincerity and misrepresentation are his core competencies.

Gilmore Girl likes to take the moral high ground. He invents tales of "a man he knows who <insert convenient sob story about how people are suffering because Lie-bore aren't in power here>". Gilmore's story always ends in a craw thumping statement which shows that the Lie-bore party is a beacon of morality and justice. He must think we have the collective intelligence of an amoeba. Gilmore Girl is the self styled hero of the working man yet he has never been employed in a proper productive job. He went from being an Official Sinn Féin student activist and USI president to Dublin City Council to Dáil Eireann. He hasn't done an honest days work in his life! A cursory examination of Gilmore Girl's behaviour over the last year shows that both he and his party don't have any policies or principals and that appealing to the lowest common denominator is all they care about.

Gilmore Girl's utterances in the aftermath of the rejection of the evil Lisbon Treaty are a prime example of his Class A hypocrisy.

In this interview with RTE on Six One News on 13/06/08 he decided to back the democratic decision of the people of Ireland:

"I think the Lisbon Treaty is dead. The Lisbon Treaty to be ratified requires 27 Member States to ratify it. The Irish people have now decided in a Referendum that they do not wish to have it ratified therefore Ireland cannot ratify the Lisbon Treaty and therefore the Lisbon Treaty falls"

“I don't think there's any question of this Treaty being put a second time to the people”

By June of this year, in this press release Gilmore Girl had done a complete U-turn (more than likely his commie colleagues in Europe had made a few calls reminding him of the vast rewards that awaited politicians after the people of Europe had been disenfranchised in a post Lisbon system):

"I welcome the reported conclusions of the European Council in Brussels today which I am confident will now enable the Lisbon Treaty to be put to the Irish people and endorsed by them."

"I will now be recommending to the Labour Party that we support and strongly campaign for the ratification of the Treaty at the referendum expected to take place in the autumn."

The Lie-bore party leader's behaviour over the pension levy also demonstrate his sickening lack of respect for our intelligence. This press release typifies Gilmore's two-faced approach.

Gilmore Girl and his politburo think that the pension levy is "unfair in that it places an unacceptable burden on public servants on modest incomes". He speaks of fairness and equity and deplores the unfair treatment of public servants. He mentions nothing about the fact that these same people are virtually unsackable. That they were continually awarded pay rises regardless of performance and that they enjoy pension entitlements that a private sector worker can only dream of. This toad doesn't give a stuff about fairness. He merely wants to look after his cronies in the unions (the same cronies who provide funding to his party)

Gilmore Girl likes to preach one thing and do another when it comes to reforming political culture. The Lie-bore document on reforming political life mentions regulating the practice of political lobbying yet they are inextricably linked with the unions. He bemoans the performance of the community welfare system yet is opposed to the reform which is necessary to save it. He has opposed all attempts to back up our failing banking system yet he would nationalise the banks - funnily enough this would effectively increase the size of the public service payroll and ensure yet more power for his mates in the unions.

Perhaps the biggest act of hypocrisy that Gilmore Girl is guilty of is his desire to enter into government with Fine Gael. He has previously served in coalition government with the blueshirts even though they are probably the party most ideologically opposed to Lie-bore principles. When Fianna Fool are dumped out after the next election Gilmore Girl will again enter into government with the blueshirts. He will abandon many of his supposed socialist beliefs in order to secure a ministerial position (and the bags of cash that go with it).

Eamon Gilmore Girl is a living, breathing, lying political paradox. He claims to be a socialist yet enjoys a salary far above what his beloved proletariat earn. He claims to be on the side of the working man yet favours the over taxation of working people in order to support people who aren't even looking for a job. He claims to favour bringing reform and transparency to our political system yet he will enter into government with a Funny Gael party who are just as corrupt and self-serving as Fianna Fool. You would expect a beacon of socialism such as Gilmore Girl to be elected by unwashed masses in hoods like Tallaght or Ballymun. Ha ha ha ha ha - you couldn't get further from the truth. Gilmore Girl, in true paradoxical fashion, is elected by the south side cappuccino drinking, Mercedes driving, privately schooled yuppies of Dún Laoghaire. Socialist my arse. I bet he wears a blue shirt under his red commie jacket!

Filling their pockets, emptying yours

Dex: Hello Mr. Pharmacist, I have just been to the doctor who has happily emptied my bank account and sent me here to purchase some overpriced drugs, driving me further into debt.

Pharmacist: I totally understand Dex, but you must understand it's not just me ripping you off. The doctors, the drug companies and the lack of any Government pressure on all these groups ensures that we all live healthy lives while you and your family have to think twice before coming in here!

Dex: I believe Mary Harney, the health beacon of Irish society, is cutting your fees for the Drug Scheme?

Pharmacist: Yes it's shocking, you know we only make a 50% mark up!! Can you believe that. 50% percent. What's the issue, we are only doubling the price of medicine, what's the big deal? Dex you seem upset.

Dex: Well the fact that I can buy the same medicine in Spain/France/UK for approx. 60% less kinda pisses me off! For example, asthma medicine costs 65% less in Spain than here for the exact same stuff.

Pharmacist: That explains why pharmacists in Spain aren't as rich as us!

Dex: In the UK, the doctor is free and all prescriptions are a set price. Sounds like a great system and good use of tax payers' money?

Pharmacist: Are you mad! Free doctors....Hello, why make them free when they can earn €60 - €80 a visit. The government would never pay that rate! Set medical prices, now you are losing the plot. What happened to my 50% margin!

Dex: How come you don't sell as many generic drugs as they do overseas? Surely this would keep prices down. Is it because of the reduced commission from the drug companies?

Pharmacist: I decline to answer that one!

Dex: So do you think Fat Mary will force you to reduce your margins on prescription drugs for non drug scheme users? I'm not on the drug scheme, so what about me? I'm still getting charged the 50+% mark up.

Pharmacist: But we have to rip someone off, we have to maintain our inflated profit margins some way. Anyway, she is only interested in saving cash for the government not for you. Remember it is this government that agreed to these margins in the first place. Blame them, not me!

Dex: So you're going to continue to rob us blind for essential medication?

Pharmacist: YES! - Take care Dex. Who's next for me to mug.... I mean serve?

STOP THE RIP OFF - Get Emailing, write to your TD, the drug companies, the Irish Pharmacy Union. Nothing will change if you DO NOTHING! Its your money...demand value for it!

Useful links: Contact The Irish Pharmacy Union

Making the Dáil look like good value for money.

Have a read of this interesting little article. It pretty much confirms what we already knew - RTE is a badly run organisation where tax payers money is routinely wasted. This makes the Dáil look like good value for money. The following facts even make FAS look like a bastion of frugality:

• Village idiots like Joe Duffy are earning more than the highest paid politician and public servant in the land!


• Marian Finucane earns more than €400,000 for two mornings of week-end work for about 8 months annually!


• It is costing us at least half a million dollars a year to keep Charlie "Dirt" Bird in Washington.


• RTE steals about €200 million of our money every year and wastes it on executive salaries and asshat presenters such as Gerry Ryan. They then take the remainder and buy up prime time shows and put them on late at night just so their unsubsidised competitors can't have them.

We should be marching on the streets about the way this organisation is pissing our money down the toilet. And it's not like we can opt out of paying the licence fee. We'd have that multilingual baldy TV licence guy round persecuting us as soon as we cancelled the direct debit!

Interestingly enough the newly elected messiah for Dublin South, George IToldYouSo Lee, thinks that RTE is run very well. He said so on Today FM a couple of days before the recent elections. So Fine Gael's newest Hobbit spent years preaching about waste, irresponsibility and greed yet he worked in an organisation where all these things were endemic. And now that RTE has been run into the ground and its staff are facing pay cuts IToldYouSo Lee has decided to jump ship. Interesting timing there George - you obviously didn't fancy a pay cut did you? Well runty Lee has now found his true calling as hypocrisy and greed are traits that will serve him well in Dáil Eireann. And he can continue to piss away taxpayers' money - just like his mates over in RTE.

Count On This

Well the counting is over and it's time to assess the damage. On the plus side Fianna Fool has suffered a severe humbling. Their worst performance in an election EVER. This is their reward for years of selfish, corrupt and inept leadership. Let's see how Brian Clown and his circus of a front bench get out of this fine mess!

Unfortunately the electorate turned to Funny Gael and the Lie-bore party. Seeing the likes of George IToldYouSo Lee being elected wasn't surprising. That didn't stop me feeling truly sickened though. Obviously 53% of Dublin South voters couldn't have been bothered educating themselves about IToldYouSo's ill conceived "policies". They believed his mantra of "a straight talker with credibility". Straight talker my arse. The runtish little hobbit has spent the last 10 years engineering a situation that would ensure his election would be a fait accompli. Well lets see how IToldYouSo holds up when he has to deliver the goods. It is already obvious that he doesn't like his saintly wisdom to be questioned. And some of the bullshit he has come out with during his cannonisation as a TD (like RTE is a well run organisation) has been truly funny. I firmly believe that time will prove IToldYouSo to be nothing but an opportunist money-grabbing charlatan.

The rise of the Lie-bore party is another joke. These muppets now have themselves down as contenders to be the biggest party after the next general election. Ha ha ha ha ha - dream on you commie fools. It is fairly obvious that much of the Fianna Fool vote has been temporarily parked with the communists. Their success in this poll says more about Fianna Fool's lack of appeal than any of Lie-bore's dodgy leftie policies.

Speaking of communists, I was delighted to see Joe Higgins taking Eoin Ryan's seat. It must have been a right kick in the arse for Fianna Fool after they put so much effort into saving him. Higgins may have some questionable policies but at least we can be sure that he will stick it to the political establishment. The fact that this will annoy Fianna Fool, Lie-bore and Funny Gael makes his election a victory for everyone who is sick of the elitist corruption that has become synonymous with Irish politics.

The strong showing of independent candidates all over the country further emphasises our frustrations with party politics. It was especially pleasing to see Maureen O'Sullivan win so convincingly in Dublin Central. It was equally pleasing to see Fianna Fool paying the price for selecting the bumbling Maurice Ahern ahead of the infinitely superior Mary Fitzpatrick. This decision pretty much sums up all that is wrong with a Fianna Fool party where nepotism, greed and incompetence is preferred to ability, intellect and endeavour.

What cheered DarkPassenger most about these elections was the annihilation of the Green Sleveen Party. The inept, tree hugging megalomaniacs have been rewarded for their complete lack of ability with a whooping from the Irish electorate. We'll see how Yesman Ryan, Trevbore Sargent and Johan von Gormless react now that their Dáil seats are in complete jeopardy. They better make damn sure they can ride out the full 5 year term of this government so that they can secure the highest pension and compensation payment possible after they are handed their P45s in 2012.

And what will our scumbag millionaire politicians do now that the elections are over? They'll do what they do best - paying themselves disgraceful amounts of money for continuously failing the people of Ireland. That is something you can always count on!

The Party is Over

The scum never cease to offend.
Our money they steal and then spend.
On the June 5th election.
We must show our objection.
Two fingers to parties we'll extend.

Fianna Fáil, Labour and Fine Gael.
They should all be rotting in jail.
They're way overpaid.
And a fortune they've made.
Despite their tendency to fail.

So let's show that we're all sick and tired.
Of the incumbents who just can't be admired.
Lets kick out these hacks.
We'll swing our vote axe.
As Doctor Bill would say, "Parties - you're fired!"


By DarkPassenger

Let's show that we've all had enough of the self-serving party politicians who have failed our country for decades. I urge everyone to vote for an independent candidate on June 5th.

Election Bling

I was out and about today, enjoying the current spell of rare sunshine, when I came across a cohort of Lie-bore party hacks promoting one of their election candidates. They were equipped with the usual armoury of faux-friendliness, leaflets full of lies and some promotional freebies. Now usually our scumbag millionaire politicians like to try and buy the votes of the poor pixie Irish with pens or train timetables or other such high value items. However, this Lie-bore charlatan was handing out bottles of water with his poncy face plastered on the label.

This encounter with the gift-bearing communist triggered memories of the halcyon days of DarkPassenger's childhood. Jumpers for goalposts, playing nic naks, garbage pail kids cards and, most importantly, election bling.

Back in the early eighties elections were a source of great excitement for the children of Ireland. Every day the party Ford Cortinas driven by loyal hacks would announce their arrival through loudspeakers mounted precariously on a rusty roof rack. This was the signal for every kid in the vicinity to drop what they were doing and converge on the hacks to see what gifts they bore. At the very least you could expect a few paper hats and a couple of rolls of stickers. If you were really lucky you might score a flag or maybe even a pen. Now you have to remember that we kids of the 80s didn't have playgrounds, youth clubs, playstations or starbucks to keep us entertained. Therefore we had to turn to things like election bling to brighten up our deprived little days. The more stickers and hats you could accumulate the better. We swarmed those Cortinas until we relieved them of every last sticker and then retired to our tree houses to compare our respective hauls of bling. Inevitably you'd return home covered in stickers, wearing 15 paper hats and trying to hide the ink stain from the Fianna Fáil pen that had leaked in your jeans. Poor young DarkPassenger had to worry about more than the leaky pen though! I also had to make damn sure that any trace of Fine Gael election bling was removed - or else I'd have the blueshirt-hating mammy to answer to!

Anyway enough talk of the past. Our inept political masters will ensure that we return to 1980s living standards soon enough. As for the Lie-bore election bling on offer today - I was feeling pretty thirsty and could have used a refreshing bottle of water to cool me down. However I remembered this simple mathematical equation:

Labour Party = Democratic Left = Workers' Party = Stalin

To hell with him - he can keep his poxy commie water!