Sunday, June 27, 2010

The Living Dead - A Funny Gael Production

In the aftermath of Enda De Road Kenny's "victory" in the farcical Funny Gael leadership battle the typical Funny Gael supporter came out to voice their support for their halfwit leader.

Jaysus help us if this moron is going to be the next Taoiseach. Brian Clown is a muck savaging, hang sambo eating, ploughing championship attending gombeen man but it seems that Kenny will elevate us from the frying pan to the fire of brainless parochial leadership!

Any ounce of political credibility Funny Gael had has now been obliterated in favour of Craggy Island politics. Now observe as Enda's legions of loyal coffin dodgers give their sophisticated political analyses of the events surrounding his victory. Watch out for a masterclass in inspirational and refined philosophy from John Cribbin, he will surely be made a poster boy for the "new" Funny Gael:

So this is what Funny Gael stands for! I'm no fan of horror show politicians like Count Leo von Varadkar or Brian Hangman Hayes, but at least you can understand them. At least they are capable of stringing a sentence together without making reference to saving hay or winning the fucking Sam Maguire. Alas, Funny Gael has firmly stated its position as Ireland's ultimate country and western party. Gobshites like Phil NoPayCut Hogan and Michael PainInDe Ring will ensure that all roads will lead to Mayo if they win the next election.

And on that depressing note I will leave you with this masterpiece from the Après Match lads. If only the real Enda DeRoad Kenny could be this funny......

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Failing Politics 101

So here we are - the week when an opinion poll (albeit a dodgily "adjusted" one) revealed support for Fianna Fool at an all time low. The government are on the ropes and the opposition, led by Enda de road Kenny, aim a knockout blow in the form of a vote of no confidence in Brian Clown and his corrupt cabinet. Times like these are what an opposition leader dreams of. Even if a no confidence motion fails, he will score as many political points as possible as the government suffers the humiliation of another appalling opinion poll.

So what do Funny Gael do when faced with this gilt-edged opportunity to gain the upper hand on their foes on the government benches? Ah yes - they decide to fuck it all up and move against their half-wit of a leader! There is no denying that Enda de road Kenny is a simpleton. He looks and acts like a clown. He has consistently failed to connect with the electorate and is a sincerity no fly zone. But why on earth have imbeciles like Richard Bruuutal, Count Leo von Varadkar and Brian hangman Hayes decided to move against their leader now? These arseholes are trying to portray themselves as the cabinet in waiting yet they cannot organise something as basic as a palace coup. Seriously - that's Politics 101. If they can't get this right how the hell will they manage to lead the country out of the trouble it's in?

Funny Gael constantly point sanctimonious fingers at Fianna Fool for mistakes they have made in the past. However they, like all politicians, are arch-hypocrites. Enda de road Kenny should have been chopped after he lost the last election. The electorate rejected his brand of GAA club politics and Funny Gael should have realised that his bogman country and western credentials would never wash with us poor pixie Irish. But instead of cleaning house and installing Richard Bruuutal as leader they chose to keep faith in a failure. No matter what happens in Thursdays Funny Gael vote on Kenny's future, there will be no winners. The likes of Olivia the hag Mitchell will be targeting party colleagues like Alan Shitter instead of their enemies in Fianna Fool. Funny Gael will be a divided party. With only a couple of years until we face another election Funny Gael look like they are set to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory yet again!