Tuesday, December 15, 2009

I'm a civil servant....get me out of here!!! - Part 3


So tonight it is hospital porter Anto's turn to face the private sector jungle in a savage trial where the following will be involved:
  • Turning up on time.
  • Working a full 8 hour day with the possiblilty of extra (unpaid) hours.
  • Not disappearing for a smoke break every 20 minutes.
  • Not being able to skive off and drive his rented taxi during working hours while his equally bone idle colleagues cover for him.
Anto has been a SIPTU shop steward for the past 20 years. During this time he has grown used to finding ways of doing feck all and getting rewarded for it. Anto pretty much symbolises Ireland's failed experiment with social partnership. He doesn't really want to work, does his best to avoid work, when he has to work he does it badly, yet he has reaped pay rise after pay rise thanks to his comrades in the unions. And god help any poor manager who tries to get some work out of him. Anto would have no hesitation in commanding his fellow Bolsheviks to down tools in retaliation for such a reasonable request.

In fact, Anto is only in the jungle as a result of threatening to mount flying pickets on the production company's premises. You see the competition was actually only meant to be for civil servants (hence the title - I'm A Civil Servant.... Get Me Out Of Here). However, Anto thought it sounded like an easy ride so used his union connections to ensure that all public servants were eligible for the competition. Little did he know what lay ahead of him.

Life in the private sector jungle has been tough on poor Anto. He is constantly irritable because he is not allowed to take his usual 20+ cigarette breaks. The lack of paid overtime means that he can't afford cigarettes anyway. The fact that his new boss supervises him closely also means that his taxi-driving nixer is no longer viable.

During his brief stay in the jungle Anto has been a trouble maker - refusing to allow the latrines be emptied because that is the job of a grade 3 shit shoveller and there is only a grade 2 on site. And we're just getting news that in the last hour Anto called an all out strike due to a clear "demarkaaaaaaaaation" issue. His plan for a show of strength has backfired spectacularly though. The producers of this show refuse to be held to ransom by Anto and his ridiculous union antics. Therefore, they have swiftly shut down production and moved the show to Thailand where contestants will do as they are told for a lot less cash. So Anto and his "comrades" are now stranded in the private sector jungle forever. So that's it for this series of I'm A Civil Servant Get Me Out Of Here. There have been no winners of this series - only losers. Anto and his fellow wasters have paid the price for a working life spent in the fantasy island of the public sector - they are now stuck up unemployment creek without a paddle. Look out Anto.....there's a waterfall ahead!

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