I was out and about today, enjoying the current spell of rare sunshine, when I came across a cohort of Lie-bore party hacks promoting one of their election candidates. They were equipped with the usual armoury of faux-friendliness, leaflets full of lies and some promotional freebies. Now usually our scumbag millionaire politicians like to try and buy the votes of the poor pixie Irish with pens or train timetables or other such high value items. However, this Lie-bore charlatan was handing out bottles of water with his poncy face plastered on the label.
This encounter with the gift-bearing communist triggered memories of the halcyon days of DarkPassenger's childhood. Jumpers for goalposts, playing nic naks, garbage pail kids cards and, most importantly, election bling.
Back in the early eighties elections were a source of great excitement for the children of Ireland. Every day the party Ford Cortinas driven by loyal hacks would announce their arrival through loudspeakers mounted precariously on a rusty roof rack. This was the signal for every kid in the vicinity to drop what they were doing and converge on the hacks to see what gifts they bore. At the very least you could expect a few paper hats and a couple of rolls of stickers. If you were really lucky you might score a flag or maybe even a pen. Now you have to remember that we kids of the 80s didn't have playgrounds, youth clubs, playstations or starbucks to keep us entertained. Therefore we had to turn to things like election bling to brighten up our deprived little days. The more stickers and hats you could accumulate the better. We swarmed those Cortinas until we relieved them of every last sticker and then retired to our tree houses to compare our respective hauls of bling. Inevitably you'd return home covered in stickers, wearing 15 paper hats and trying to hide the ink stain from the Fianna Fáil pen that had leaked in your jeans. Poor young DarkPassenger had to worry about more than the leaky pen though! I also had to make damn sure that any trace of Fine Gael election bling was removed - or else I'd have the blueshirt-hating mammy to answer to!
Anyway enough talk of the past. Our inept political masters will ensure that we return to 1980s living standards soon enough. As for the Lie-bore election bling on offer today - I was feeling pretty thirsty and could have used a refreshing bottle of water to cool me down. However I remembered this simple mathematical equation:
To hell with him - he can keep his poxy commie water!
This encounter with the gift-bearing communist triggered memories of the halcyon days of DarkPassenger's childhood. Jumpers for goalposts, playing nic naks, garbage pail kids cards and, most importantly, election bling.
Back in the early eighties elections were a source of great excitement for the children of Ireland. Every day the party Ford Cortinas driven by loyal hacks would announce their arrival through loudspeakers mounted precariously on a rusty roof rack. This was the signal for every kid in the vicinity to drop what they were doing and converge on the hacks to see what gifts they bore. At the very least you could expect a few paper hats and a couple of rolls of stickers. If you were really lucky you might score a flag or maybe even a pen. Now you have to remember that we kids of the 80s didn't have playgrounds, youth clubs, playstations or starbucks to keep us entertained. Therefore we had to turn to things like election bling to brighten up our deprived little days. The more stickers and hats you could accumulate the better. We swarmed those Cortinas until we relieved them of every last sticker and then retired to our tree houses to compare our respective hauls of bling. Inevitably you'd return home covered in stickers, wearing 15 paper hats and trying to hide the ink stain from the Fianna Fáil pen that had leaked in your jeans. Poor young DarkPassenger had to worry about more than the leaky pen though! I also had to make damn sure that any trace of Fine Gael election bling was removed - or else I'd have the blueshirt-hating mammy to answer to!
Anyway enough talk of the past. Our inept political masters will ensure that we return to 1980s living standards soon enough. As for the Lie-bore election bling on offer today - I was feeling pretty thirsty and could have used a refreshing bottle of water to cool me down. However I remembered this simple mathematical equation:
Labour Party = Democratic Left = Workers' Party = Stalin
To hell with him - he can keep his poxy commie water!
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