Adventure up North

The recent rally cry from the Dail playground directed at us folk down South to be patriotic and stop shopping up North seems somewhat hypocritical when the Government and the retailers do nothing to reduce the cost of living on even the most basic goods. Especially, when our Northern neighbours are paying less for the same goods.

With this in mind, I bundled poor Rita and the kids into the car and off we rode towards the great divide. Luckily we had set out early avoiding the now monstrous republic cavalcade which occupies the M1 these days. I instructed each sibling to take a trolley, it was now their patriotic duty to give 2 fingers to the rip off and hypocritical Republic.

Now I must admit, I did feel guilty. I was lining the dear old Queen's pockets rather than contributing to the civil service toilet. But I had to overcome my guilt. As I pondered on this thought. I noticed some of the price differences from our resident retailers. Meat, be it Chicken , Turkey or Beef varying from 20%-50% cheaper. Milk 3 litres for our 2. Everywhere I looked I calculated similar differences. Darkly Dexter, went into a mad spin and soon the siblings and Rita had the trolley loaded with fine British produce.

Next, on to the section with which I am most familiar, the drink section. As I squeezed passed the now mass of Southern folk, fighting over crates of Miller and cases of Penfolds. I paused, returned and instructed Rita, we may need another trolley! If your lady (or you) likes to numb themselves on Cava/Champagne, paradise awaits. For an in-house brand of vintage Cava, a saving of 40% on our similar in house brands and quality. This ain't none of that watered down p**s Lidl think we should drink! If, like the Distinguished Dexter, you like your vino red you will be greeted with savings of 20-30% a bottle. Cases bring a further 5% saving.

As the Dexter clan rode home, squashed by the volume of food stuffs and alcohol related products. We felt content, we had completed a great adventure.

Even though, Mary Harney's beauty treatments will, unfortunately, have to be cut back and the civil servant's - bring your family on government business fund will suffer greatly, don't feel guilty. Your family will eat plenty and you'll be numb drunk for a year on less than what Brian Cowen's daily make-up costs! Vote with your feet, let the Government and retailers know, you've had enough!!