Who is the Biggest Looser?

OK, we are all depressed that Leechie Lenihan has reduced us all to eating beans and considering late night careers in the Phoenix park. But all is not lost! I have an idea! It is guaranteed to lift the nation's spirits and increase RTE's viewer base from its current 10 individuals to millions.

How about a Dail Eireann's biggest Looser? I am referring to the popular American TV show, where a group of overweight (see I am PC, I didn't say fat) individuals weigh in every week to see who has lost the most weight. Think about it Cowen versus Harney, magic! Let's be honest we all have a problem with a Health minister who looks like she could collapse with a heart attack. Our notorious leader isn't exactly going to be running any marathons (or up any stairs) in the near future either.

Think about the opening scene, when its customary to place all the food they normally eat in front of the contestants. But in the spirit of things, we could lay out bags of cash, representing the thousands of euros billed to the tax payer for Healthy Mary's lovely appearance. We may need a bit more space though for the amount of cash wasted by Mr. Cowen and his FF swindlers. But we can improvise.

Look at the scope, it could go on for months or even years! No more doom and gloom in the papers, just interesting facts about how Mary managed to loose more than 3lbs this week! While we watch poor Brian burst into tears admitting he gave in to temptation and scoffed 10 juicy Dáil Canteen cream cakes.

Fantastic....I feel happier already.